The Bottom Line Crack
by Satakumi
Summary: Rukia decided to take a break after a hard days work but she runs into a drunk Kisuke who ends up doing something he shouldn't have. Someone sees this and talks about with someone else who starts spreading rumors when it all was a big misunderstanding.


The Bottom Line a Crack Bleach story.

"_It was a warm summer night when Rukia Kuchiki made one mistake that led into a huge misunderstanding." _

Rukia stood in the middle of the street in her Shinigami attire she had been working hard since early this morning slaying hollows, and it was more work for her than usual because Ichigo had to help out his family with something that he didn't share with Rukia. Of course they argued about it about but Ichigo didn't tell her the reason to why he was neglecting his duties he only told he'd make it up to her so she had let it go for the moment. _Well, I've been going at this all day now I figure I deserve a break._ She thought to herself. _I know! I could go out for drinks Onii-Sama never allows me to drink when I'm in the Soul Society but Renji's not here to squeal me out. _Rukia decided that it might be fun so she went for it. Rukia went to retrieve her Gigai that she had hidden in the bushes.

After a 5 minute walk Rukia came across a hole in the wall bar called _The Bottom Line_ she mused at how the living always had such odd names for things. She reached for the slightly rusted handle and pulled the door open. _The Bottom Line_ bar was a rather shabby looking place. For one, the booths and chairs had their leather ripped (It most likely was fake leather too.) Most of the posters on the walls were and the lighting was dim so it was hard to see. She walked up to the bar and took a seat on the least destroyed seat she saw. It wasn't to long after that when the bartender came to assist her.

The bartender was a bald man in his mid to late forties. He was tall around the same Ichigo but he was much wider than him he had your average beer belly of which you expect from a bartender. His was white name tag said Takuzu on it.

"Excuse me little one but you realize this is a bar and middle school students aren't aloud to drink." Takuzu warned Rukia who was about ready to snap. _Middle School? He's kidding right I'm clearly not a little kid how dare he be so ignorant. _Rukia internally fumed.

"Luckily you came here! I'll tell you what how about I go get you a beer to start you off?" Takuzu asked Rukia but she had already left her seat and was on her way out. She couldn't understand why anyone would consider her Jr. High student. On her way to the door she bumped into a very drunk Kisuke Urahara.

Kisuke was more than obliviously drunk anyone could see that but what he was going to do no one could predict. Although, Rukia didn't really bother stopping to ask him what was going on she was only focused on leaving that bar. After she had calmed down she realized that she had walked a couple blocks away from the bar and that the drunken Kisuke had staggered after her.

"Rukia you look really great today." Kisuke slurred with a very strong smell of alcohol following after. Rukia wasn't quite sure how to process that until Kisuke stumbled closer to her invading her personal space causing her back to press up against the brick wall behind them. _Oh dear Kami he can't be serious. _Rukia thought hoping this was just another annoying joke of his.

"You like Chappy, right? Well, why don't we make like Rabbits and go at it." Kisuke suggested while he leaned his body over hers and rested his arm on the wall above head. _That was a horrible pick-up line. This whole thing is really pissing me off I'll just knock him out his reflects shouldn't be intact. _Rukia said to herself. Before she take him out he passed out and his head dropped into her shoulder. Rukia figured it less work this way but she still wanted to hit him for hitting on her. _I'll wait until he wakes us it wouldn't be the same if he wasn't awake._ Rukia concluded and sighed from frustration.

No one had realized but Karin Kurosaki had witnessed the whole thing on her way home from Soccer Practice. Although, she hadn't noticed the Kisuke was drunk which mislead her to thinking there was more going on. Karin decided to hide behind a car so she could stay concealed the last thing she wanted was to be spotted. _Well, this explains to why he owns a candy store but I can't really see them together what so ever. I guess I'll talk to Yuzu about she generally knows more about this. _Karin said to herself by the time she was thinking about it Rukia & Kisuke had already left.

What did Ichigo have to do that left Rukia alone?

What will Rukia do with the Drunken Kisuke?

Who else will appear in the story?

How will Karin's talk with Yuzu go and how will Yuzu react?

**I have an idea of what will be the answers of these questions but please tell me what you think should happen or what you want to happen. It wouldn't be the first time I've taken a suggestion I appreciate all help.**

**A/N: I'm aware that this store is utter crack but the idea wouldn't stop popping up when I thought about writing so I wrote. Now, this story is not finished although I know what direction I want to go in so it won't be long before it is finished.**


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